Purpose of blog

I've seen this as part of the user profile on a few blogs. The best comment I've come across till now is - Huh !!!

Less is truly more in this case.

Anyway, I think I have come up with a whole new use for my blog. I'm going to use my blog to measure something intangible.

Vetti, in tamil, is jobless. I call the act of being vetti as vettiness. My measure to quantify the extent of vettiness is called vettiness quotient.

How does this vettiness quotient work ? The relationship I have devised is - Vettiness quotient is directly proportional to the number of posts in a month. Since I am fixing my sampling period to a month's time, this measure will vary month on month. Every month there will be a vettiness quotient value which will be comparable over time.

If I remember right, December 2007 has the most number of posts by me. Thus proving that my vettiness quotient is at an all time high right now.

Damn, today is 30th dec. I still have a day to go. Maybe tomorrow I'll post something and beat my own record.

That will be fun. A record that lasted one day. That should be a record by itself. I'm getting rather good at this.

No guts, No glory

She knew they were out to get her. This is what she had to say.

"I did not come this far in life to be intimidated by suicide bombers"

Read the full article here

Interesting, how courage can be so easily interpreted as stupidity.

Food habits

I have heard that fear will make you do stupid things. Stupidity will obviously make you do stupid things. Guilt will also make you do things. Things I find amusing.

I heard this from so many of my friends. I thought it was hilarious then. One day, I saw it with my own eyes.

My friend and I go to this eat out. We order our food. I get myself a stroganoff and my friend opts for pasta. We sit there, waiting for our food, discussing world views, in vain of course. Words seldom translate to action. I have no qualms in admitting that I'm a lazy bum.

This couple come sit at the table next to ours. The guy was actually a rather large man. What I meant was, he was fat. But that would be politically incorrect. So, the guy was a rather large man. His companion was a not-so-large girl.

Our tables were close enough for us to hear what they were ordering. The girl went first. She asks for Caeser salad and mixed fruit juice. The guy orders meat lasagna and a large order of fries. The waiter leaves and then the fun begins.

We can hear the girl hissing at the guy. She's like, "What the hell was that ?". The guy knows he's in deep shit. Just doesn't know why. He's got this puzzled look on his face. She says, "I thought we were on a diet". Realisation dawns. My friend and I can now read the guy's mind. He's thinking, "Damn it. What was I thinking ? I'm not out with the guys". He doesn't say anything. Immediately calls for the waiter and says this.

"I'll have a diet coke to go with that please."

So, its official now.

If you can get a girl to admit that she's on a diet, it really means she's on a diet. If a guy says he's on a diet, it means he'll settle for a diet coke.

** This post is dedicated to a good friend of mine. If she hadn't asked, I probably wouldn't have written this.

Whats wrong with people's sentiment ?

Today is Christmas. I'm actually pretty good at stating the obvious. So, I'll say it again. Today is Christmas. I can do it again, but then I would be repeating myself.

So what do I do ? Nothing special. Watch American Gangsters. Listen to some Arabic lounge/chill-out music. Drop into office for a couple of hours. Make a mental note to get some roasted turkey in the evening. Of course, I wish all my Christian friends.

I am sure that there are secular people out there like most of our national political parties, committees backed by various religions which would be pissed off at me for making that statement.

You are wondering what statement. "I wish all my Christian friends" - that statement. Let me take a wild guess at what they are likely to say.

"Sowji has hurt the sentiments of all the non-Christians in this great country of ours by not wishing them for Christmas. He should be stripped, beaten up and his soul condemned to the deepest bowels of hell. If he renders a public apology, then all is forgiven, his place in heaven is restored and all is forgotten in less than a day as nobody really cares about what he said."

I'm trying to understand this new trend in making public objections. The only constants are, firstly, somehow the sentiments of a lot of people are hurt. Secondly, all this fuss seldom lasts more than a day. Lastly, nothing ever comes off it.

Lets see now. On mothers day I only wish my mom and not my dad. Is someone going to accuse me of gender bias now ? Or maybe its daddy bias ?

If I'm not mistaken, there is something called Aids day, right. Why don't we hear anyone screaming that the "sentiments" of all the people without aids has been hurt ?

If anyone is planning to use the words "hurt", "people" and "sentiment" in the same breath or in the same sentence, I have something to tell you. I'm going to type it in caps so you dimwits will know that I'm yelling.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP"

Sandhaikku poogadheydee ....

Scene Sindhamani and Rouse Rangamani are priends. They decide to go shopping.

Scene Sindhamani wants to get herself a towser. She's looking at the latest that Versace has to offer. Rouse Rangamani is looking for colour glass. She's thinking, "I feel like Oakley today".

Off they go.

Aaru mani neratherku peragu .....

Scene Sindhamani is seen going home with oru kilo maidha maavu and rendu packet instant kaapi.

Rouse Rangamani is spotted entering her house with oru litre nallennai, oru kaali plastic cover and a paper cap.

Ooru makkal are bewildered. They are still trying to understand how Scene Sindhamani's and Rouse Rangamani's attempt at shopping can end in such fashion.

If you choose to extrapolate this incident to apply for all women, I am not going to stop you.

Namakku Puriyala.

I'm starting to like this guy

December 27th 2007, Narendra Modi will be sworn in as the Cheif minister of Gujarat for the third consecutive time. The prominent BJP party member single handedly crushed the Congress and the rebels to propel his party to a convincing win, silencing his critics both inside his party and outside. BJP won 117 out of the 182 seats with the Congress and it's allies only managing a paltry 62 seats. BJP finishing only 10 seats less than in 2002 when they won 127 seats. Clearly, Moditva announcing it's arrival loud and clear for everybody to hear.

The "Merchant of Death" per Sonia Gandhi is truly the undisputed "King of Gujarat".

Actually I don't know Modi well enough to start liking him. He's a close second though.

I was talking about Hugh Laurie.

Watched him the first time as Dr. Gregory House in the American television drama - House. Clearly this guy's brand of humour is sarcasm. House is a beautifully written character, full of witty one liners and a unique take on life - everybody lies.

If you are not obsessed with boring sob stories, which have more of background music than actual dialogue per episode, that pass off as television drama on Sun TV, I'd recommend that you watch House.

Be warned, if you don't understand sarcasm you will miss the true essence of the entertainment.


Happy Housing !!!

Bad combination

Have you ever tried listening to psychedelic music when you have a really bad sinus headache ?

I have. It's so weird. So much so that I'm typing this at the exact same moment.

Right this very moment I have a bad sinus headache and I'm listening to this really trippy song called "Star Shpongled Banner".

The only lyrics in the song are:

I am a secret magician
The sun is purple
3D dimensions
I am for mental expansions

I don't have the faintest clue as to what that is supposed to mean. But the song is kinda cool.

I think I'm high. 500 mg of antibiotics, two times a day.

Wow, I can see the music.

I think I'll lie down for awhile.

Mazhai, Kodai and Romantic peelings

What do these three things have in common ?

Time of occurrence.

No pun intended here okay. No gilma ideas pliss.

Chennai vaasi's will agree with me when I say that the weather has been pleasant for the past week or so. Temperature in mid 20's. Humidity somewhere around 70% accompanied with rains or heavy cloud cover. That is Chennai makkal's idea of heaven.

Sadly I couldn't enjoy to the fullest as I was down with a terrible cold. It's an awkward kind of illness, the common cold. My head felt like it was filled with molten lead. The otherwise subconscious act of walking became a conscious act of balancing. My eyelids were like power lifters, trying to keep my eyes open. You are not bed ridden, as in you can move around the house. You are not fit enough to be your normal self. Pretty much caught in no man's land. So two days I spent getting very familiar with the insides of all the walls in my house. Another day and I would have named them and started ranking them amongst my friends list.

Luckily, before I became like Tom Hanks in Castaway, the medicine I was taking started to show some result. Once I had the use of my upper airways, that is my nose, and didn't have to use my mouth to breathe, I just absolutely had to venture out.

So I took my car out, thinking I'll drive past the beach. Just as soon as I start out, the rain starts pouring down. Doesn't bother me as I am dry and snug inside my car and I like to drive in the rain. I've got Buddha Bar on my stereo, seat pushed right back, cruising to the beach.

Those of you familiar with Chennai and particularly Elliots beach will know there is a Spencer's store close to the beach. I'm bang opposite the store, about to turn on the street leading to the beach and that is when I see it.

This couple in the rain. The guys got his left hand over the girl's shoulder and he's holding an umbrella in his right hand. The girl is very comfortable leaning into him and they are smiling about something. Nice, almost cute even.

The girl is probably happy because the guy is acting like he's all sensitive and caring. The guy is probably happy because he gets to satisfy his male ego as the security provider or whatever. Or, the umbrella was meant for one and squeezing underneath that kutti kodai gave them the illusion of sharing. But hey, that's just me. It could've been anything. Feel free to fill in the blanks with any psycho babble that best suits your imagination.

There it is - Mazhai, Kodai and Romantic peelings.

I know you people have a mental image in your head right now. Zoom out on the image and know what you will see - Cupid's darlings are walking right smack in the middle of the road.

There are a lot of places for love struck couples to get comfortable. I'm sure, middle of the road, on a rainy day, in a city like chennai ranks pretty low on that list.

Purinjikoongappa. Thollai Thaangamudiyala.

Is INDIA really SHINING ?

Recently, BJP's L.K.Advani, in his speech at Shimla, Haryana stated that the campaign slogan used by his party in the previous election, namely "INDIA SHINING", was a mistake. He said it should have been "INDIA RISING".

I agree with him, but only partially. I think "INDIA SHINING" falls miserably short of the truth. India is not yet rising. It is still trying.

What exactly do we mean by India's growth story ? What does 8%-9% growth actually mean ? The PM, Manmohan Singh, says over the next five years India can achieve 10% growth. 10% of what ? GDP obviously.

Gross Domestic Product - defined as the market value of all final goods and services produced within a region in a given period of time.

Is GDP the most accurate measure for quantifying an economy's performance ? I'm not sure if the answer to this question is a yes. How can I possibly be convinced that GDP growth of 10% or whatever is a measure of India growing ?

The way I see it, growth should happen in more than just one sphere. At least two, namely economic and social. Of course there may be more, but these two I think are a must.

GDP increase shows economic growth. What do we use to measure social growth ? Actually I don't think it's social growth, it should be social development.

Lets take a simple example. The Sensex is an indicator of India's growth story. How many people actually know what sensex stands for ? If I were to say, sensex stands for sensitivity index, how many people would be surprised ? I'd say a lot. It's easy to get carried away by the hysteria and get brain washed into believing that all of us are in the middle of enormous growth opportunity.

The Sensex is based on 30 companies. It represents 13 sectors and the sum of free market capitalization of these 30 companies adds up to approximately 50% of total market capitalization. The Nifty is based on 50 companies. It represents 24 sectors and the sum of free market capitalization of these 50 companies adds up to approximately 60% of total market capitalization.

Both these indices are built on the fairly simple concept of sampling. We draw on a sample from a population and hope that the population is best represented by the sample. Anyone who has any exposure to basic statistics will tell you, that sampling techniques, however advanced they may be, are always accompanied with what we call "sampling error".

What is this error ? No matter how carefully we choose a sample, it never completely represents the population in it's entirety. There is always a chance that the indicators are wrong.

By using the sensex as an indicator, we are looking at only 50% of total market cap. The other 50% is neglected, on the assumption that this 50% will follow the movement of the other 50% which is being tracked.

When the sensex goes up, what does that mean ? It only means that the market cap of the companies in the list of 30 has increased or the market cap of some of the companies has increased to an extent that is more than the fall in market cap of the remaining, which has a net effect of increased market cap on the index.

So, the price of a few equity shares goes up and suddenly India is growing ?

Mukesh Ambani recently bought a plane for close to 350 million dollars. How many people do you think have bought anything for 350 rupees let alone millions or dollars ?

As an internationally accepted benchmark index, the Sensex is useful. It is an indicator of possible trends in the financial markets. Thats all it is. Nothing less and most definitely nothing more.

A 1000 point gain on the sensex over 4-5 trading sessions does not mean that in those 4-5 days India has suddenly become a better place to live in.

How has day to day life for the common man changed between the time the sensex was at 19,000 and the time it crossed 20,000 ? This has only affected those few smart people who put their money in the right place at the right time, those gutless people who just followed the crowd and got lucky and those really dumb fools who didn't follow the crowd but still got lucky.

You know why there has been no change in day to day life ? Because there have only been indications of economic growth and no signs of social development.

You can ask me what does social development mean ? How do we measure this development ?

With my limited knowledge on the subject, I will attempt an answer.

When a majority of people can write their own names I consider it as social development. When a majority of people have a job or are employed in some capacity I consider that as social development. When a majority of people can sustain their own livelihood I consider that as social development.

In other words, the measures are:

=> Literacy level
=> Employment level
=> Per capita income level

When was the last time you heard our Finance minister, P.Chidambaram, speak of anything that is not connected to the stock market ?

There are enough people to worry about the stock market. There are enough "analysts" to monitor, advise and comment on the equity markets.

Exactly who is going to worry about social development ?

If anyone can answer this question, I'll accept Advani's statement.

A Frenchman talking about love - fascinating or plain scary

Agatha Christie's Death on the Nile featuring Peter Ustinov as Hercule Poirot.

Just watched this movie. The best line of dialogue being the last line.

"The great ambition of women is to inspire love".

The original quote is by Moliere, a French playwright and actor from mid 1600's. Interestingly, the character Hercule Poirot, though he is from Brussels, Belgium, speaks good French.

It is precisely such thoughts, which on closer scrutiny turn out to be rather shallow, that fuel the already misled Casanova's of our times.

Would I be wrong in saying that the French are genetically flawed ?

The $ problem

This is not one of my pointless rants. This is where I show people that my interest in Economics and Finance is well founded.

Everybody who knows how to read will probably know about the US dollar depreciating. But I'm guessing that all you people would have had a very one dimensional view of the situation. You know, like how you have been working onsite with some I.T company and suddenly all the dollars you managed to save over the years are not worth that much rupees. Like how your bonus or salary revisions are suddenly going down hill.

I dont blame you people if thats all you have read or thought about. It's your money. You've worked for it. If it's being flushed down the toilet, hell yes you ought to be concerned. Please note, I use the word "concerned" and NOT "worried".

Thats exactly what I dont want to talk about.

Think beyond the amount that hits your salaried account every month.

Think Big.

Think international.

Think GLOBAL.

If you have any interest in international macro economics, read here. If you are genuinely interested in global economics, trust me this read will not disappoint you.

Opulent charm of fully blossomed purple

I have this weakness for purple. I mean the colour. During the course of this post you will understand why I disclosed that.

There I was driving down Nungambakam main road. Pleasant evening, about 8 on the clock, not too hot, not too humid, relaxed lazy weekend. I have a red at the traffic signal, you know the one just before Landmark. I pull up. I am listening to azhagiya tamizh magan songs. I increase the volume.

Right next to that signal there is this restaurant called Bella Cio (I think thats how its spelt). A red Maruti Swift pulls up. Out steps this girl.

I am going to pause for effect.

--Pause

--Pause some more

--Just a little longer now

She was, for lack of a better word, absolutely gorgeous.

Beautifully fitted deep blue low rider jeans. White tank top, just the right size. Light purple scarf, just hugging her neck. Perfect shade of glossy purple on her lips, as only liquid lipstick can deliver. Yeah, I know about liquid lipstick. I have friends who are very vocal about their choice in cosmetics.

I just sit there looking at her. Suddenly, I hear my steroe scream, "Saturday night, partyku pogalam variya".

I know it's a coincidence. But there I am sitting and hoping as hell, it's providence.

For those of you who didn't understand the metaphor, fully blossomed purple = purple rose.
For those of you who still don't understand, purple rose = enchanted, love at first sight.

25 years and filter coffee

The second an individual goes past this milestone, they are special. Between the time an individual crosses over from 24 years & 364 days of age to 25 years of age, somehow they magically become eligible for marraige. Overnight people become mature enough to handle a relationship and family, who until very recently are apparently not capable of taking care of themselves.

Enna nakkala !!!!!

Everyone from mom to dad, pakkathathu mama to therumunai mami, from edhirvettu uncle to pakkathu theru aunty, from paalkaare to veetu velaikaare, from every relative who's name you know to those whose names you don't know are asking you the same annoying question. Eppo ponnu paaka aarambikkalam ?? What kind of a girl do you want ? What is this ? They talk like girls eligible for marraige are picked off a shelf and delivered on demand. Reality is quite the opposite.

It's a herculean effort not to start reeling off this barrage of abuse and say, "poi coffee kudinga, aareda podhu."

Someone asks me this question once, thats fine. I very politely tell them that work is just settling down, maybe in a years time I am willing to reconsider my position. Problem starts when the same people come back and ask me the same annoying question in less than a years time - much much much less than a year, like a week or two days. Not just twice or thrice, but again and again and again and again and freakin again. Please note, I say people and NOT person.

Can someone please tell me why I shouldn't be pissed off ?

1 year = 12 months = 52 weeks = 365 days. Does that equation change for someone who's turned 25 years old ? Time suddenly flies by a lot faster, is it ? A year apparenly shrinks to less than 7 days.

All of a sudden, people are suffering from selective hearing. A "no" to marraige is just not audible. Neither is "paakalam" nor "eppo vendam" or anything to that effect.

Marraiges are made in heaven. What a load of crap.

Marraiges are made when a bunch of bored aunties are having filter coffee on an idle Tuesday afternoon. Let me attempt an explanation.

Vanaja* aunty says, "Yeindee amma, endha vishayam theriyuma unakku. Last week ennoda womans club secretary oda peranukku kalyanam aachi. Anga namma X avaloda paiyan Y oda vanderundha. Y nalla valandhutaan theriyuma. M.S mudichittu, eppo XX company la work panraanam. Adutha maasam green card apply panna pooraanam. Smart boy."

Suddenly, the home made sugar free mysore paaku and oil starved murukku are no longer the centre of attention. Girija* aunty next to her is quick to react, pounce on the opportunity.

"Appadiya mami, neythu dhaan madya kailas kovilukku namma A vanderundha. Kooda avaloda ponnu B vanderundha. Avalum M.S mudichittu eppo YY company la work panra. Periya manushi aaita theriyuma. Beautiful girl."

Hmm. There is this deathly silence for about 10 seconds as everyone tries to work out the politics between themselves, X and A. After another 10 seconds of second guessing and self doubt, consensus is reached - the group approves of X and A as in-laws.

"Appo Y ku namma B ya paaka sollalaamey." A month later, Y and B are engaged. Six months later, Y and B become Mr & Mrs Y.

Stop being naive. This is reality. If you don't believe it, you need to wake up and smell the filter coffee.

* All names used in the above narration are fictional and bear no intentional resemblance to any person living or dead.