Reality bites

• A traffic signal in red, in the absence of a policeman means nothing.
• Road signs indicating speed limits only show the number. Drivers are possibly under the impression that the board shows the minimum and not the maximum permissible speed level.
• Other road signs generally mean nothing. You know, boards which show "Halt" - I dont think people understand this at all, "No parking" - as long as the engine is running and there is someone in the driver's seat, any vehicle is not considered parked.
• Public transport vehicles have the god given right to use the road in any way they choose fit. When was the last time you saw a public bus stop anywhere close to a sign which said "Bus stop".
• All public transport vehicle driver's are intentionally trained ot ignore all road marking. The white dotted line in the centre of the road is supposed to mean something.
• Railway reservations are for losers. The smart one's get a general ticket and travel first class.
• Warning sign which reads "No smoking" on a train is not for you. Feel free to ignore and blatantly violate.
• Any trace of decency is not warranted in a public place. Feel free to fart in a public place. No apologies are in order.
• You go to a movie theatre and spend few hundred bucks to watch a movie and enjoy the experience - not to switch off your mobile when the movie starts. What nonsense.
• In a corwded restaurant, you get a call on your mobile. You answer and talk, speak or shout at the top of your voice. It doesnt matter if the guy in the other side of the room is not interested in listening to you rant about all thats wrong in your pathetic excuse for a life.

There's more, but i'm sure you've got the essence of what i'm trying to say.

I thought I was suffering from blogger's block

I started to type thinking that I was right smack in between one of the worst cases of blogger's block. Now why would I try to come up with a post when I feel I have nothing to yap about ? Ha, why blog at all then. No compulsion to post you know.

Here I am listening to some music on an idle Saturday afternoon, yeah there are people who are idle on Saturday in this world. Must be something about Harris Jayaraj's music in Sainikudu. I had a brief flash of something that I could possibly turn into a post. Here goes.

I am trying to understand that one moment of clarity in thought in an otherwise normal mindless passage of time that people have come to call life. You know, the kind that Newton had when he saw lying idle under an apple tree.

I'm sure everyone, at some point or the other, would have experienced this. Genius is probably just recognising these flash's of enlightenment and acting on them. "Genius is born -- not paid" - Oscar Wilde

Question is, Are you up for the moment ?

My tribute to Kollywood

There are certain inalienable facts associated with Kollywood. I will attempt to list a few.

• VijayKanth movies are complete entertainers. Ennatha solli, ennatha panni !!!
• Actress Namitha apparently claimed she would have become an athlete had she not become an actress. Adee paavi !!!
• Satyaraj coupled with Kaundamani make for awesome comedy. Aaeeiii, who is the disturbance !!!
• Vadivel is mass comedy while Vivek is class comedy. Ennathadhu seru pillai thanamaa !!!
• Hollywood movies develop a new flavour when dubbed into Tamil or Telugu.
• People will watch anything, atleast once. Makkal are very understanding. Also totally vetti.
• Natural science ceases to exist in the world where movies are made. Newton sonnadhu ellam poi.
• Size doesn't matter. The villain will always go flying in the air, most often through something or someone. Dhoo da.
• Satyaraj's reply when asked whether he will act as a villain, "Nichiyama. Aana adutha padathula enkooda herova nadhichavaru villaina nadikanum. Naaney eppovum adi vaanga mudiyadhu illa". Nakkal Mannan.
• Anyone can act as a college student. Age absolutely no bar. Satyaraj claims he's a 12th class student in "Englishkaren"

There is so much more to write. But i'm totally overwhelmed by emotions. Mudiyalaya Raasa.

Meanwhile, c'mon I say. Padam edukkuravanukku avvalavu erundha padam paakaravanukku evvalavu erukkum. We'll watch anything that comes our way.

Insomnia induces my new personal best

1st December, 2006

I waltz into office at 9:16 am. This event merits mention because in my 1 year and 10 months in this company I've not seen office before 10 am. Such are the inexorable pleasures of flexible timing.

What actually made me do this ?

Insomnia, commonly understood as chronic inability to sleep. In my case, insomnia is more like fear of sleep.

Welcome to the real world.

THE END

Questions & Answers

Idleness + Tuesday afternoon = Yahoo messenger

Obviously, that was not the first time I had used yahoo messenger but it certainly was the first time that using messenger had induced a post.

Following are two excerpts from my conversation with two of my friends, they are close enough - don't remember the whole thing word for word.

Start
Friend1: "Change that picture of ur's. Cant stand it anymore"
Me: "u can always hide the pic"
Fin

Start
Me: "i realised that people have developed a penchant for calling me crazy"
Friend2: "that's because you are crazy"
Me: "Nothing like a dose of truth to really wake me up :)"
Friend2: "what did u expect"
Fin

Hey, i was in office. It's my god given right to have more than one chat window open. Back off.

Conclusions:

1. Relatively complex questions tend to have relatively simple answers and vice versa.
2. I have the capacity to come up with completely rhetorical questions and smart ass answers.
3. My rhetorical questions somehow always seem to be answered.

All of a sudden this quote comes to mind:

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt" - Mark Twain, if i remember correctly.

IQ - my contribution to social sciences

Dear Reader,

How many times have you wondered what this world is coming to ? The almost total lack of rationality is mind boggling. There are people who can, will and do perceive this irrationality as a refreshing change when thrust on the otherwise mundane activities of life. People like me. The kind you'll find when you're not really looking to find one.

You know what we need, a mechanism to determine how irrational a person really is. Why not ? There are metrics in place to measure an individuals intelligence and emotional ability. Why not another metric to measure how irrational an individual is capable of acting ?

Yeah, I call it Irrationality Quotient. I intend this variable to have only two possible outputs - Boring and Funky, in common parlance - Rational and Irrational. It is my opinion that irrational does not mean crazy or nuts. Irrational means being rational in its own right.

Most rational people tend to be consistent in their needs, opinions and what not. Like Oscar Wilde says, "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative". You choose. Yeah, I know, either choice is equally awkward. Don't even dream of calling yourself consistently imaginative. That'll make you irrational, in my book. Contrary to the common saying, there is no lesser of two evils.

Considering that a lot of time and effort has been devoted to developing a mechanism to arrive at Intelligence and Emotional quotient, I've decided to leverage the work already done to develop my test for Irrationality quotient.

For the more academically inclined, it'll suffice to say I intend to use Statistical sampling and very basic hypothesis testing combined with probability theory to determine the value of Irrationality quotient. Anything more is just too damn boring to type.

So people, if you consider your Irrationality Quotient to be Funky, keep reading. As Humphrey Bogart says in, the all time classic, Casablanca, "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship". [Fade out]

THE END