Between then and now

I ask myself what happened. The optimist in me says Life and the pessimist says Old Age, relatively speaking of course.

For some reason I was checking my mail box to see how many mails I have in it. The earliest mail I have is dated late 2004. I start reading select few mails and work my way backwards. I can't believe I used to be in touch with so many people for so many reasons with such varying levels of comfort.

Some of them, I'm still in touch. Some, more often than then. Some of them, I'm no longer in touch.

Reading some of the stuff I typed back then makes me smile. Hitting on girls, complete strangers, some girl I met one time in some gathering. I came across two such mails where they chose fit to reply. I cant recall what I was thinking when I did that. I cant remember how many such attempts have not managed to get a reply. I remember their faces, names are in the mail so no mystery there. I am shaking my head in disbelief as I type this.

Will I do it now ? The answer is an emphatic no.

I wouldn't mail, I'd get her number and call. What was I thinking ? Why did I waste my time mailing ? Or maybe I'd shrug it off. Probably the latter is more likely than the former, unless of course the girl is irresistible.

Anyway, my choice of words now will be drastically different from what I would have chosen then.

I can see a sea of change in the content and in the presentation.

Content has changed probably because between then and now, I have evolved from student to professional, from financial dependence to independence, from optimist to practical, from dream to life.

Presentation has changed probably because now I understand the difference between content and presentation and my reading habits have changed over time.

At a personal level, I know things are not the same. I'm not the guy I used to be in 2005 or earlier. At the outset, change may not be obvious. But I know, I'm not the same.

My perspectives have changed. My ideas have changed. My opinions have changed. My priorities have changed. My needs have changed.

I like what I used to be then. I like what I am now. The older me would have been alarmed at this change. The new me is more curious to know what the next two years will bring.

What will I type after two years when I read this post ?

I am not sure if change is painful, it sure is inevitable.

It only seems befitting that I listen to this song called "Make this go on forever" while I type this post.